Toothbrush Curse

I've been guilty of this in the past. Inspecting the opposite sex's bathroom. Whom you are potentially dating in particular. In my case, this happened almost 3 years ago. A while ago, a mutual friend decides to introduce me to a guitarist from a local Bay Area rock band. I admit when we first met (which was on a double/blind date), he was a super Irish hottie. Couple weeks later, we decide to go out for dinner. Afterwards, we decided to chill and hang out at his new 1 bedroom apartment in Richmond. I used his bathroom and low and behold not only do I see a blue toothbrush, I also see a PINK one. Hmmm....my immediate thought - someone's been having a slumber party with another chick. This is totally some type of groupie love. Conclusion - it's time to act suave, find an excuse to leave his crib, walk away, and never EVER turn back. It's quite normal for any chick to make that assumption, right? I mean as an individual, we always try to avoid getting hurt or better yet - gettin' played! Anyway, the roles have turned. [To Be Continued...]

Stepping Stone

So, I finally get it….
I always wondered why…that immediately after a guy dates me, they then meet their freakin’ soul mate. I finally get it. I’m like the chick that gives them a clue how wonderful it is to be in a relationship. Just don’t date me, right?!?! UGH! Like, do I really have something on my forehead that says:

“You are going to marry the next chick you meet after me so don’t waste your time with me any longer. Drop ME motherfucker….LIKE, NOW!”

If that is true, then crap….my life is sooo dunzo. I might as well just transform into a freakin’ doormat, stepping stone, or whatever you want to call it. Like seriously, I did not sign up for this job. I’m not the booster upper for any guy to jump over the fence from single-hood to lifetime commitment.  Jump your own fences gosh darnit! I QUIT!

HolidUH!

6 hours later, I just realized that today is a holiday - Veterans Day. I don't say this very often, but thanks mom for the enlightening moment during our telephone call (...minus the laughing and mocking at me part) So, tell me why did I call my son's school to report his absence on a holiday!? Duh! There's no school today! I might as well have called on a Saturday! Ugh! I'm so embarrassed right now. I left such a lovely voice mail on the school office's answering machine, too. I made sure I enunciated my full name as well as my son's full name. Oh d-d-dear....I would do anything in the world if I can just delete it. I guess, the bright side of it all is that it's E.J.'s last year in grade school. The dull side, I'm sure some admins are gonna get a kick out hearing my mortifying message come tomorrow.