Turtle Frenzy

WARNING: This blog post contains explicit content. If you are somewhat related to me - DO NOT READ!

I have been a victim of peer pressure. I got suckered in. Honestly, it's true. So here's how it all began. Last Saturday, I was at little bachelorette shindig for my girlfriend, Ginger in Castro Valley. When I walked through the door of the house (incredible interior design might I add), I've never seen so many artificial penises in my life! It was cute but not for someone that has been in a drought for quite a while [sigh]. At the house, we had a pleasure party on behalf of Passion Parties. It was my very first pleasure party attendance. I didn't really know what to expect. For those who aren't familiar with it here's a brief inside scoop. A pleasure party is basically an "in home" adult/sex toy party. A consultant comes over and convinces you to buy a bunch of erotic stuff. Pretty interesting. It was a night full of laughter. From talks of lubrication, to candle wax, to scented sheets, to cock rings, vibrators, and the ever so NOT interesting mi-mi's (for MEN only). Although, some items seem that they would have benefited for me, I refused to purchase anything. It was only until the Bride-to-Be took me aside and gave me a pep-talk. She was determined to be the influential person that would convince me that I deserved a brand new toy. I personally think she wants to be known as the person I owe all my thanks to once I try it out for the VERY FIRST TIME. Yes, I'm a sex toy virgin. I've always been a skeptic when it came to fakeness. Why settle for that if I'm already happily content with the real thing? I may not get it as often as I would like but it suffices. Anyway, I was a push over. I did it. I placed an order for my special friend called "Turtle Frenzy". The shipment is expected to arrive in 7 business days. I can't wait! [note: full of sarcasm] Who knows if I will ever have the guts to use it. If time calls for desperate measures, like really really REALLY desperate measures, I hope I can fully operate one correctly. Like really. What are you supposed to do? Just stick it in and let it do all the work? Isn't that kind of B-O-R-I-N-G? All I know is that I definitely will need to find a good hiding place for this. My son already saw my stash of condoms for goodness sake! Can I say awkward for him and I? Totally.