The Year of the Gentleman

First and foremost, my biggest apology goes out random black dude solicitor on 4Th Avenue in San Mateo. I'm so sorry. I just did something really bad. Unintentionally of course. So this dude volunteers for a homeless shelter and apparently collects donations from random passer byers. Everyday, it's a different person. When I have extra change, I do my part and make a donation. When I don't have any loose change on me, I simply ignore them and go about my way. Well, so dude is posted right in front of Jamba Juice. Keep in mind, I don't have cash. We make eye contact and I smile to him politely. He says, "I'm looking forward to seeing that smile on your way out!". I walk into Jamba Juice. Order my usual Chunky Strawberry and pay via debit card. On my way out, he pulls open the door for me. Instead of saying "Thank you!", my immediate reply was "Sorry, I don't have any cash on me". He got offended but said in a nice manner. "Oh no Miss, I wasn't asking for anything from you. All I wanted to do is be a gentleman and open the door for you." I felt so bad afterwards. I said sorry but kept on walking back towards the office. As we parted he was chanting on and on. I already felt bad. I was like 20 feet away from him by then. And the last thing I heard come out of his mouth, "I'm just trying to do a good thing and be a gentleman. That's all." In my defense, I screamed out, "Again I'm so sorry. Guess I'm not used to it!" (meaning the gentleman treatment). After I said that, I turned to take a quick glance at him to see if he heard me. I wanted to see his reaction. I witness a very disappointed look on his face. He seemed let down that women no longer appreciate small things like that. He looked at me and nodded his head slowly and spoke in a louder voice so that I can hear him, "I understand. I was just trying to be nice...". He continued to speak loudly, "It's a darn shame you feel that way". After that, I heard nothing more. I think he forgave me. If he didn't then he would have shook his head from left to right, don't you think? I felt so bad still. As a child, his mother probably taught him to always be polite and well-mannered with the ladies. Sucks man [sigh] I hated myself for a moment. I don't like to hurt people that try to do good. As I was walking further and further away, I began to think. That is pretty sad. It's sad that I get into total defense mode when a male tries to perform a simple act of kindness. It's sad that I continue use negativity and lose all hope for finding a man who carry these 'gentleman' characteristics. In actuality - they do still exist! It's sad that I always question myself - "Why is he being so nice? What does he really want from me in return?" As if every kind gesture from a man is automatically turned into a business proposition? It's sad that I make that immediate bad assumptions. As a women, I should appreciate this more often. As a women, I should learn how a simple thank you and smile is good enough - even if at times, I feel a bit uncomfortable about it. To all the genuine gentlemen- Keep on doing what you're doing. Hopefully, women like me will finally come to our senses and know that good things will eventually come our way rather than always expecting the worst out of a situation. Don't give up. Instead, spread the word because it seems like the inconsiderate a$$holes are taking over the world. You guys are slowly becoming extinct which leads us women to believe that every gentleman we approach are really jerks in disguise. Show us that you are real and I'm sure it will pay off in the long run. Thanks!