Secured Heart

So, I was chatting with a buddy online when I should have been really cleaning my awful of a mess room. I don't like to clean. I only clean for a purpose or when I've fallen off the deep end during an endless search of something in particular. My friend said that I need a boyfriend that cleans. Hmm...that would be nice, I thought. But to me, having a boyfriend means so much more. If you're in a well committed relationship, trust plays a huge role. You must trust one another. In my case rather, I have issues with that. Therefore, I've come up with an idea! How about treating my heart as if it was a secured credit card! First of all, applying for a secured credit card is a great way for an individual to repair their bad credit and establish one for the first time. In order to qualify, a person would have to make a deposit which equates to their credit line. This deposit is called a collateral. Usually after a year or so, the credit card company will evaluate your account and will determine your eligibility to upgrade to a secured credit card. If you are eligible for the upgrade, the credit card issuer will give you back your original deposit and then hand you your very own unsecured credit card and you live happily ever after (assuming you use the plastic card wisely). So let's take a look at my lust life. Let's say a dude wants to be exclusive. I offer them my lust and affection for a simple collateral. Only difference from a secured credit card is you do NOT receive your collateral back. It's shall I say, non-refundable contribution. Black Jack No Take Back! If you think this is a loss for you then move on. I for one, have a good relationship background. I have two factors to prove it: 1.) I've never cheated 2.) I'm not a gold digger. So, since I'm not a gold digger, your collateral doesn't necessarily have to be monetary. Be creative! If your background is just as squeaky clean as mine, then you can be eligible for a profit sharing plan. As long as you continue to contribute in this relationship, so will I! By now, you're probably thinking how ridiculous this idea sounds. If I'm right then you are really not thinking outside of the box. The term 'collateral' can be translated into so many different ways. You can even interpret the word metaphorically. "So, what does the dude get back in return?" , you might ask. Why, that's quite simple. They will have me! Hence, we will have each other! Consider this as the long-term investment. I ain't going anywhere if your willing to stay. What begins as lust will slowly turn into a good healthy relationship filled with love. Love leading to more everlasting love. Love leading into marriage. Love leading into a growing and happy family. Great idea, right? It's what you call a secured heart. Warning: This method can only be effective for those who are into taking chances and looking for a potential growth on their investment.

I'm a Chick of Patterns

I love patterns. I love plaid. I love paisleys. Visuals that are consistent are a pleasant joy. Last night though, it went all wrong for me. First of all, I caught the cold that has been roaming around this past month. Thanks to that, I took the day off. Umm, technically I didn't. I actually showed up to work at 8:00am. Co-workers saw how sick I was and told me to leave. Twenty-five minutes later, I did just that. (Talk about dedicated employee, right? Proof of loyalty!) So, I'm home all day long. The restlessness is getting to me. Krispy Kreme is on my mind because we all know that share-bare always needs her Raspberry Filled Glazed Doughnut from Krispy Kreme to cope with her sickness (<----FYI - talking in third person). I was able to resist the entire day until dinner time. I was fed up with canned soup. I jokingly, asked my niece Tates to go buy me donuts. She politely said OK. What a sweetheart. She quickly put on her shoes and announced to everyone she's going to buy Tita Share some donuts. She took my car keys and started tried to open the front door. It was too cute. She was actually playing make-believe. It was such a tease...I couldn't get over it. My mind was telling me no, but my body...yes, my body was saying just do it! I threw on a pair of jeans and journeyed off to Krispy Kreme in Millbrae with E.J. and Tates.

For you Peninsula locals, you are probably like: "There's a Krispy Kreme in Millbrae?!" My reply to you is: "That's what I thought!"

So, this is when my lovely obsession of patterns come into place. Let's start in Mountain View- There's an In-N-Out Burger there. There is a Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Union City - There's an In-N-Out Burger there. There is also a Krispy Kreme Doughnuts! Daly City - Again, There is an In-N-Out Burger. Then of course, there is also a Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Do you see the pattern now? Millbrae - There is an In-N-Out Burger and to my surprise...there is NO KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS. It's a freakin' Panera Bread! What the hell!? I'm so mad at the city of Millbrae. At first, I thought my cold made me delusional. I was all, maybe it's behind Panera Bread. I was literally trying to drive around to make sure. Nope! There was no neon sign which says, 'Hot Doughnuts Now!" I was in panic. I had to call my sister RENee to verify. Maybe they moved it somewhere else, I thought. She laughed and called me an a$$ for not knowing. So my options were to either drive about 10 miles more north to Top of the Hill Daly City (I hate that place) or 35 miles south to Mountain View. At the point of my discovery, I just wanted to drive back home. But, there were two kids in my car anxious to see the donuts being processed. Alright kids, let's go to Daly City. I was an hour long pursuit. But, when we finally arrived back to the apartment, it was well worth it. I was now able to satisfy my hunger, take my NyQuil, and rest for a quick recovery. What a night....

Danke Google!

I love statcounter. It's a wonderful web tracker. I keeps me updated on my visitors. It enables me to see where my actual readers are from. Well this morning, I checked statcounter for the hell of it. I've seen that someone from Google visited my blah-g. That Google representative/employee happens to have logged on from the Google Berlin office. How awesome is that!? I'm known internationally - Germany to be exact! Not only internationally, but I'm known to Google! Yippee! I don't care if you stumbled upon my blog by accident. You really made my day! Whoever you are, thanks for noticing me. Danke! =) Come back again, OK?

DVR is Not My Friend

When I first moved into this three bedroom apartment with my older sister, I could not wait to get my hands on Comcast's DVR. Thanks to DVR, I never once missed my favorite television series, movie, or show. It's the greatest thing invented these days. Now that I'm half way through our 12 month lease at the apartment, I noticed something. I'm now 10 pounds heavier and forever and a day a couch potato freakazoid. This is not good. I want to be able to quit cold turkey but I can't! I'm already addicted to DVR. The HD option worsens this ever so bad new addiction of mine. [share-bare tilts her head to right and begins to day dream while sitting in front of her television. Yeah, I was talking in third person....so what]

"Gosh, how awesome it was to watch DVR'd NFL games on HD. . . "

[she then releases a huge sigh] I'm in need of intervention from this dependency problem I have with DVRing. I already completed my first step of the Twelve-step Program. I'm admitting to you all that I have a problem and I need help.

Dear Dude from Up Above, Please grant me the courage and willpower to get my fat ass off the couch. Please steer me away from glaring into that wonderful digital glow coming from my 40" Samsung Flat-Panel LCD HDTV. Please give me the strength to do more productive duties such as cleaning up my pig sty of a room and/or doing my laundry at least once a week. Please motivate me to occupy my free time doing more active things such as exercising or eating healthy food at the kitchen table. Please guide me through these tough times so I can finally get rid of the muffin top I inherited from sitting like a potato due to excessive television watching. Please be my savior and HELP me say 'No!' to DVRing. Love always, share-bare

Oh d-d-dear. What to do. What to do.

Unwrapped

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is reading/clearing my emails on my Blackberry. I have 4 different email accounts. Don't ask why. I'm just weird like that. Anyway, not only do I check my emails but I also check any texts or facebook messages since the moment I fell asleep the night before. This morning, I got a message via facebook from a familiar face. He's not a friend. He's not even my friend on facebook. He was a guy I went on a couple dates with almost 3 years ago. From time to time, he'll send me a random 'hellos' out of no where. I play it safe and absolutely never reply because honestly, I don't see myself every becoming friends with him or even worse - dating him again. So here's his message:

"Hey... I was watching unwrapped just now and I could have sworn I saw you there...was that you? Eating ice cream? Just wondering I hope you are doing well ****"

Whoa there, sir! I quickly did a double take. Uh what? Is this a dream? Am I dreaming about getting odd and bogus messages on facebook? I gently started to rub my eye crispies out to make sure I was actually seeing what I just read. WTF! LOL! OK - so it wasn't a dream. I was laughing to myself for a quick minute. But then it sunk in. OMG. Maybe it was me on TV! Is it possible? But then I realized. If I was on TV, I think I would have been fully aware of cameras focusing on me eating ice cream. That couldn't have been me. Then I started to get offended. WTF! Me on a Food Network show? What is he trying to say? Is he calling me a pig?? Immediately, I shook it off and was on my way to the bathroom to take a piss then shower up for work. Hmm...I still couldn't get that idea of me eating ice cream on television. I wish it was me but I knew for a fact it wasn't. It's quite possible that I do have a long lost twin in this world. If so, I would be more than glad to meet her. Hmm...let's put that on my Tabo List, shall we? ;) When I got to work I tried to youtube the Unwrapped episode that aired last night during 11:36 p.m. Yeah. Apparently, I could not get over it. Mission unsuccessful! Anyway, I'm gonna keep a look out of that specific episode. Maybe you can, too. The episode is called, Unwrapped: Mixed Up. Keep an eye out for an Asian chick eating ice cream!