Toothbrush Curse

I've been guilty of this in the past. Inspecting the opposite sex's bathroom. Whom you are potentially dating in particular. In my case, this happened almost 3 years ago. A while ago, a mutual friend decides to introduce me to a guitarist from a local Bay Area rock band. I admit when we first met (which was on a double/blind date), he was a super Irish hottie. Couple weeks later, we decide to go out for dinner. Afterwards, we decided to chill and hang out at his new 1 bedroom apartment in Richmond. I used his bathroom and low and behold not only do I see a blue toothbrush, I also see a PINK one. Hmmm....my immediate thought - someone's been having a slumber party with another chick. This is totally some type of groupie love. Conclusion - it's time to act suave, find an excuse to leave his crib, walk away, and never EVER turn back. It's quite normal for any chick to make that assumption, right? I mean as an individual, we always try to avoid getting hurt or better yet - gettin' played! Anyway, the roles have turned. [To Be Continued...]

Stepping Stone

So, I finally get it….
I always wondered why…that immediately after a guy dates me, they then meet their freakin’ soul mate. I finally get it. I’m like the chick that gives them a clue how wonderful it is to be in a relationship. Just don’t date me, right?!?! UGH! Like, do I really have something on my forehead that says:

“You are going to marry the next chick you meet after me so don’t waste your time with me any longer. Drop ME motherfucker….LIKE, NOW!”

If that is true, then crap….my life is sooo dunzo. I might as well just transform into a freakin’ doormat, stepping stone, or whatever you want to call it. Like seriously, I did not sign up for this job. I’m not the booster upper for any guy to jump over the fence from single-hood to lifetime commitment.  Jump your own fences gosh darnit! I QUIT!

HolidUH!

6 hours later, I just realized that today is a holiday - Veterans Day. I don't say this very often, but thanks mom for the enlightening moment during our telephone call (...minus the laughing and mocking at me part) So, tell me why did I call my son's school to report his absence on a holiday!? Duh! There's no school today! I might as well have called on a Saturday! Ugh! I'm so embarrassed right now. I left such a lovely voice mail on the school office's answering machine, too. I made sure I enunciated my full name as well as my son's full name. Oh d-d-dear....I would do anything in the world if I can just delete it. I guess, the bright side of it all is that it's E.J.'s last year in grade school. The dull side, I'm sure some admins are gonna get a kick out hearing my mortifying message come tomorrow.

share-bare's ranDUMB Moment #10 - Part Duece

Yup. There's actually a continuation to this ranDUMB moment #10 of mine. Too much of a coincidence so I had to share with you all. That and Jay Jay is demanding I put myself on blast. I'm used to looking a fool so what the heck. Later that evening, I kindly texted my older sissy for a favor. I had to be at work by 7:15am the following morning so I asked if she could come over to my apartment and bring the kids to school for me. She said sure. She's so reliable it sometimes disgusts me because it makes me look like "the undependable lazy slacker" of the siblings. Anyway, being the highly over cautious big sissy she is, she decides to text me again:

"So be there by 7. Call me if you change ur mind. Bet ur not going to wake up early."
Gotta love these confirmation texts I get from her...*sigh* Without my usual sarcasm, I kept my text reply nice and simple:
"I will. I'm up by 620. I'll leave the door unlocked"

Immediately after that, I go about my own business. I check up on my meatloaf which is in the oven, eat dinner once it's ready, after that - watch television, etc. Unknowingly, I leave my phone in my room. An hour later, I realize it and retrieve my cell phonefrom my bedroom. I then continue to lay my potato on the couch. I noticed I got another text message. Ah, must be big sissy again, I thought. I check. Nope! Apparently, ranDUMB moment #10 was not exactly done with me. I get a text from the same dude I had inadvertently texted my home address to:

"U sent this text to the wrong man again"

Whatta day! Lovely. By this time, I was so fed up with trying to explain myself to him. Minutes later, I do anyways. I had to. My conscience told me to. Last thing I want in this world is to be falsely accused of being a slore. I'm not...really...I'M REALLY NOT! Can someone tell me why does this always happen to me?

share-bare's ranDUMB Moment #10

Text and Talk - There are many moments where I'm able to multitask. I love efficiency. It can be very easy depending on the situation. Sometimes, I feel I should be a little bit more careful and cautious. With that said - I learned to never trust myself with texting and talking at the same time. Why? Well earlier today my girlfriend, Linds texts me:

"Share, what's ur addy? I 4got 2 give u Eli's gift last sat"

At the same time, JayJay comes to my cubicle and starts talking his usual trash to me about me! Today, he claims I'm the Paula Abdul of the department? WTF?! Anyway, I try to tune him out. I begin to text away my home address and then hit send on my touchscreen cell phone. (I hate the LG Xenon, by the way). After the send is complete, I'm prompted to my Recent Message screen. For some reason, the top shows a name other than my girlfriend, Linds. Careless mistake right? but....OMG! What did I just do?! Well, apparently, I had just ranDUMBly texted a male friend my home address. LOL! Pretty embarrassing, right? My immediate thoughts were 1.) He must think I normally just have random dudes come over my house, and 2.) I hope he doesn't think I'm hinting him to come over my place tonight, 3.) Please don't think I'm some kinda slore (as the Kardashian sisters would say) I quickly rushed to fix the previous text that was sent by error. As I'm sitting at my desk, I'm impatiently waiting for his reply. Approximately 10 minutes later I get a text from him:

Dude: Hmmmm? =? Me: I knew you were gonna think that! Dude: LOL think what? Me: I'm not txting random dudes my address if that's what ur thinking. Dude: LOL i was thinking u were giving me the address so I can come over ;)

Only me...this would only happen to me... *sigh*