Anyhow, during my drive to my TFT workout, dating flashbacks came to mind. Lightbulb! What a brilliant idea share-bare but to list Dating Don'ts based on my 15 years of dating experiences. Awesomeness, right? Well, it's the least I can do for boring you these past months. Again, I'm sorry. I hope you still love me...
- ...ever go to a Dude's house for the 1st date. No exceptions. I don't care if he says he's going to cook you dinner. Reality - He just wants you to repay him for all the hard work with a night of hot steamy meaningless sex.
- ...stick around for dinner if Dude cannot read the restaurant menu. For the record, you do not pronounce 'cashew' like sha-shu! Even worse, run away as fast as you can if he does not know what steamed rice is. Really?! Are you freakin' kidding me?!
- ...date Dude if you are in an "On and Off Again" type of relationship. It's really not fair to the dude. Let's not be selfish here.
- ...go on a date with Dude that's just getting over a relationship. It's time to call it a night if he starts asking you for advice on how to get back with his ex-girlfriend.
- ...let Dude literally chase you for a kiss good night. That right there is a pyscho statistic. Keep calm. Take the keys from valet with a quickness and burn rubber. Don't look back!
- ...set a bar/lounge as a meeting place for a date with dude. He will hold you responsible if his unattended drink is accidentally taken away by the bus boy dude. Yes, alcoholic dude will even yell at you in front of his friends. Save yourself the embarrassment please.
- ...have dude plan a 2nd date during your 1st date. That's what you call Desperado!
- ...let politeness stop you from deleting 'dating reject' dude from your Facebook or myspace friend list. That just gives him the opportunity to internet stalk you. Delete! Block for life!
- ...return a call from dude that leaves you a 5 minute voice mail stating that he might be falling for you and you may be "the one" immediately after your 2nd date. Please change your phone number if you have to.
- ...date dude from a rock band unless you are all about "Groupie Love"
- ...waste your time with dude that does not own his own vehicle. MUNI bus rides are so not romantic!
- ...let Dude talk about feelings. Don't let Dude ask you what you are feeling. Who really does that?! You are only on a date! Have fun and don't let it get all serious.
- ...bother dating Dude that only wants to see you really late at night or only wants to talk to you on the phone during business hours (between 8am - 5pm, Monday through Friday only). Hint: Dude is already in a relationship! Don't be a Jesse James girl...aka Michele McGee