My original purpose of this blog was to keep track of all of my "Things To Do" before my life expires. You know... stuff to do before you kick the bucket. Well people - here's my Bucket List or shall I say "Tabo" List. You only live once, so don't think twice. In addition to my "Tabo" List, you'll find me sharing how it's like to live the life of the wonderful share-bare. Happy Reading! ENJOY!

(inspired by the 2007 movie, The Bucket List )

1.) Pet a Tiger Cub
2.) Hold and Wrap a Snake Around Me
3.) Raise Money for a Good Cause

4.) Run a Half Marathon
5.) Run a Full Marathon

6.) Attend an Oprah Winfrey Show

7.) Meet Drew Barrymore in Person

8.) Go Dog Sledding in the Colorado Mountains
9.) Get Rock Hard Abs

10.) Write My Own Book and/or Sitcom

11.) Be in a Professional Photo Shoot
12.) Compete in a Bus Surfing Contest
13.) Step Inside of Grand Central Station in New York
14.) Cross the Golden Gate Bridge by Foot
15.) Adopt a dog named him Chaw-Lee <--I mean, Bam

16.) Learn to Swim so I Can be a Surfer Chick

17.) Enjoy a Special Brownie

18.) Hale Down a Yellow Cab
19.) Lie in a Hammock with Someone Special
20.) Apply for a Library Card
21.) Get a Black Belt in Kenpo Karate
22.) Get Kissed by a Hottie on New Year's (Strike of Midnight)

23.) Learn to be a Voice Over Artist
24.) Attend a Superbowl Game
25.) Sing the Song 'Killing Me Softly' at a Karaoke Bar
26.) Go Skinny Dipping

27.) Be on T.V.

28.) Go White Water Rafting in the American River
29.) Run up the "Rocky Steps" of the Philadelphia Museum of Art
30.) Marry Mr. Right

31.) Work Out So Hard That I Puke
32.) Go Stand Up Paddle Surfing (or Hoe he'e nalu) somewhere tropical

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Turtle Frenzy

WARNING: This blog post contains explicit content. If you are somewhat related to me - DO NOT READ!
I have been a victim of peer pressure. I got suckered in. Honestly, it's true. So here's how it all began. Last Saturday, I was at little bachelorette shindig for my girlfriend, Ginger in Castro Valley. When I walked through the door of the house (incredible interior design might I add), I've never seen so many artificial penises in my life! It was cute but not for someone that has been in a drought for quite a while [sigh]. At the house, we had a pleasure party on behalf of Passion Parties. It was my very first pleasure party attendance. I didn't really know what to expect. For those who aren't familiar with it here's a brief inside scoop. A pleasure party is basically an "in home" adult/sex toy party. A consultant comes over and convinces you to buy a bunch of erotic stuff. Pretty interesting. It was a night full of laughter. From talks of lubrication, to candle wax, to scented sheets, to cock rings, vibrators, and the ever so NOT interesting mi-mi's (for MEN only). Although, some items seem that they would have benefited for me, I refused to purchase anything. It was only until the Bride-to-Be took me aside and gave me a pep-talk. She was determined to be the influential person that would convince me that I deserved a brand new toy. I personally think she wants to be known as the person I owe all my thanks to once I try it out for the VERY FIRST TIME. Yes, I'm a sex toy virgin. I've always been a skeptic when it came to fakeness. Why settle for that if I'm already happily content with the real thing? I may not get it as often as I would like but it suffices. Anyway, I was a push over. I did it. I placed an order for my special friend called "Turtle Frenzy". The shipment is expected to arrive in 7 business days. I can't wait! [note: full of sarcasm] Who knows if I will ever have the guts to use it. If time calls for desperate measures, like really really REALLY desperate measures, I hope I can fully operate one correctly. Like really. What are you supposed to do? Just stick it in and let it do all the work? Isn't that kind of B-O-R-I-N-G? All I know is that I definitely will need to find a good hiding place for this. My son already saw my stash of condoms for goodness sake! Can I say awkward for him and I? Totally.

4 comments:

  1. hey, i put a warning message out there.

    sorry dude!! i like to express my thoughts alot on this thing...can't help it!

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  2. That look on your face is priceless

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  3. LOLOL! don't be afraid. it's just a turtle! hahah.

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