Secured Heart

So, I was chatting with a buddy online when I should have been really cleaning my awful of a mess room. I don't like to clean. I only clean for a purpose or when I've fallen off the deep end during an endless search of something in particular. My friend said that I need a boyfriend that cleans. Hmm...that would be nice, I thought. But to me, having a boyfriend means so much more. If you're in a well committed relationship, trust plays a huge role. You must trust one another. In my case rather, I have issues with that. Therefore, I've come up with an idea! How about treating my heart as if it was a secured credit card! First of all, applying for a secured credit card is a great way for an individual to repair their bad credit and establish one for the first time. In order to qualify, a person would have to make a deposit which equates to their credit line. This deposit is called a collateral. Usually after a year or so, the credit card company will evaluate your account and will determine your eligibility to upgrade to a secured credit card. If you are eligible for the upgrade, the credit card issuer will give you back your original deposit and then hand you your very own unsecured credit card and you live happily ever after (assuming you use the plastic card wisely). So let's take a look at my lust life. Let's say a dude wants to be exclusive. I offer them my lust and affection for a simple collateral. Only difference from a secured credit card is you do NOT receive your collateral back. It's shall I say, non-refundable contribution. Black Jack No Take Back! If you think this is a loss for you then move on. I for one, have a good relationship background. I have two factors to prove it: 1.) I've never cheated 2.) I'm not a gold digger. So, since I'm not a gold digger, your collateral doesn't necessarily have to be monetary. Be creative! If your background is just as squeaky clean as mine, then you can be eligible for a profit sharing plan. As long as you continue to contribute in this relationship, so will I! By now, you're probably thinking how ridiculous this idea sounds. If I'm right then you are really not thinking outside of the box. The term 'collateral' can be translated into so many different ways. You can even interpret the word metaphorically. "So, what does the dude get back in return?" , you might ask. Why, that's quite simple. They will have me! Hence, we will have each other! Consider this as the long-term investment. I ain't going anywhere if your willing to stay. What begins as lust will slowly turn into a good healthy relationship filled with love. Love leading to more everlasting love. Love leading into marriage. Love leading into a growing and happy family. Great idea, right? It's what you call a secured heart. Warning: This method can only be effective for those who are into taking chances and looking for a potential growth on their investment.

I'm a Chick of Patterns

I love patterns. I love plaid. I love paisleys. Visuals that are consistent are a pleasant joy. Last night though, it went all wrong for me. First of all, I caught the cold that has been roaming around this past month. Thanks to that, I took the day off. Umm, technically I didn't. I actually showed up to work at 8:00am. Co-workers saw how sick I was and told me to leave. Twenty-five minutes later, I did just that. (Talk about dedicated employee, right? Proof of loyalty!) So, I'm home all day long. The restlessness is getting to me. Krispy Kreme is on my mind because we all know that share-bare always needs her Raspberry Filled Glazed Doughnut from Krispy Kreme to cope with her sickness (<----FYI - talking in third person). I was able to resist the entire day until dinner time. I was fed up with canned soup. I jokingly, asked my niece Tates to go buy me donuts. She politely said OK. What a sweetheart. She quickly put on her shoes and announced to everyone she's going to buy Tita Share some donuts. She took my car keys and started tried to open the front door. It was too cute. She was actually playing make-believe. It was such a tease...I couldn't get over it. My mind was telling me no, but my body...yes, my body was saying just do it! I threw on a pair of jeans and journeyed off to Krispy Kreme in Millbrae with E.J. and Tates.

For you Peninsula locals, you are probably like: "There's a Krispy Kreme in Millbrae?!" My reply to you is: "That's what I thought!"

So, this is when my lovely obsession of patterns come into place. Let's start in Mountain View- There's an In-N-Out Burger there. There is a Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Union City - There's an In-N-Out Burger there. There is also a Krispy Kreme Doughnuts! Daly City - Again, There is an In-N-Out Burger. Then of course, there is also a Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Do you see the pattern now? Millbrae - There is an In-N-Out Burger and to my surprise...there is NO KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS. It's a freakin' Panera Bread! What the hell!? I'm so mad at the city of Millbrae. At first, I thought my cold made me delusional. I was all, maybe it's behind Panera Bread. I was literally trying to drive around to make sure. Nope! There was no neon sign which says, 'Hot Doughnuts Now!" I was in panic. I had to call my sister RENee to verify. Maybe they moved it somewhere else, I thought. She laughed and called me an a$$ for not knowing. So my options were to either drive about 10 miles more north to Top of the Hill Daly City (I hate that place) or 35 miles south to Mountain View. At the point of my discovery, I just wanted to drive back home. But, there were two kids in my car anxious to see the donuts being processed. Alright kids, let's go to Daly City. I was an hour long pursuit. But, when we finally arrived back to the apartment, it was well worth it. I was now able to satisfy my hunger, take my NyQuil, and rest for a quick recovery. What a night....

Danke Google!

I love statcounter. It's a wonderful web tracker. I keeps me updated on my visitors. It enables me to see where my actual readers are from. Well this morning, I checked statcounter for the hell of it. I've seen that someone from Google visited my blah-g. That Google representative/employee happens to have logged on from the Google Berlin office. How awesome is that!? I'm known internationally - Germany to be exact! Not only internationally, but I'm known to Google! Yippee! I don't care if you stumbled upon my blog by accident. You really made my day! Whoever you are, thanks for noticing me. Danke! =) Come back again, OK?

DVR is Not My Friend

When I first moved into this three bedroom apartment with my older sister, I could not wait to get my hands on Comcast's DVR. Thanks to DVR, I never once missed my favorite television series, movie, or show. It's the greatest thing invented these days. Now that I'm half way through our 12 month lease at the apartment, I noticed something. I'm now 10 pounds heavier and forever and a day a couch potato freakazoid. This is not good. I want to be able to quit cold turkey but I can't! I'm already addicted to DVR. The HD option worsens this ever so bad new addiction of mine. [share-bare tilts her head to right and begins to day dream while sitting in front of her television. Yeah, I was talking in third person....so what]

"Gosh, how awesome it was to watch DVR'd NFL games on HD. . . "

[she then releases a huge sigh] I'm in need of intervention from this dependency problem I have with DVRing. I already completed my first step of the Twelve-step Program. I'm admitting to you all that I have a problem and I need help.

Dear Dude from Up Above, Please grant me the courage and willpower to get my fat ass off the couch. Please steer me away from glaring into that wonderful digital glow coming from my 40" Samsung Flat-Panel LCD HDTV. Please give me the strength to do more productive duties such as cleaning up my pig sty of a room and/or doing my laundry at least once a week. Please motivate me to occupy my free time doing more active things such as exercising or eating healthy food at the kitchen table. Please guide me through these tough times so I can finally get rid of the muffin top I inherited from sitting like a potato due to excessive television watching. Please be my savior and HELP me say 'No!' to DVRing. Love always, share-bare

Oh d-d-dear. What to do. What to do.

Unwrapped

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is reading/clearing my emails on my Blackberry. I have 4 different email accounts. Don't ask why. I'm just weird like that. Anyway, not only do I check my emails but I also check any texts or facebook messages since the moment I fell asleep the night before. This morning, I got a message via facebook from a familiar face. He's not a friend. He's not even my friend on facebook. He was a guy I went on a couple dates with almost 3 years ago. From time to time, he'll send me a random 'hellos' out of no where. I play it safe and absolutely never reply because honestly, I don't see myself every becoming friends with him or even worse - dating him again. So here's his message:

"Hey... I was watching unwrapped just now and I could have sworn I saw you there...was that you? Eating ice cream? Just wondering I hope you are doing well ****"

Whoa there, sir! I quickly did a double take. Uh what? Is this a dream? Am I dreaming about getting odd and bogus messages on facebook? I gently started to rub my eye crispies out to make sure I was actually seeing what I just read. WTF! LOL! OK - so it wasn't a dream. I was laughing to myself for a quick minute. But then it sunk in. OMG. Maybe it was me on TV! Is it possible? But then I realized. If I was on TV, I think I would have been fully aware of cameras focusing on me eating ice cream. That couldn't have been me. Then I started to get offended. WTF! Me on a Food Network show? What is he trying to say? Is he calling me a pig?? Immediately, I shook it off and was on my way to the bathroom to take a piss then shower up for work. Hmm...I still couldn't get that idea of me eating ice cream on television. I wish it was me but I knew for a fact it wasn't. It's quite possible that I do have a long lost twin in this world. If so, I would be more than glad to meet her. Hmm...let's put that on my Tabo List, shall we? ;) When I got to work I tried to youtube the Unwrapped episode that aired last night during 11:36 p.m. Yeah. Apparently, I could not get over it. Mission unsuccessful! Anyway, I'm gonna keep a look out of that specific episode. Maybe you can, too. The episode is called, Unwrapped: Mixed Up. Keep an eye out for an Asian chick eating ice cream!

She Loves Me...She Really Loves Me...

...I think. Just so you know, I have a terrible case of middle child syndrome. No one ever pays much attention to me nor wants anything to do with me. My own mother, especially. Whatever. Nonetheless, this week has been good to me. As my gift of giving and being so nice to my mom said she loved me. Now that means ALOT! I don't care if she says it sarcastically or jokingly. She said it damnit and quite honestly, that's all that counts. It all started on Saturday when I offered to pay for her stuff at Costco. She was very thankful. I then said to her, "See, I'm a good daughter, right?" "Yeah, sometimes..", she says. I then asked her under my breath, "Do you love me now, mom?" I'm not sure if she heard me or was purposely ignoring me because there was no response. Oh well. I just have to take what I can get right now. After I drove my mom to her favorite store in the whole wide world, TJ Maxx, I was a tad bit disappointed when she said "I love you, Ry..I mean, share-bare!". Oh my freakin' gosh! WTF! Everyone (Renee, Ryree, Eli, and I) in the car caught her slippin' and started laughing. Not laughing with me. It was more laughing at me! How rude! Do you see what I go through now??!! Don't you feel sorry for me? She can't even get my name straight. So, about an hour ago, the family and I concluded our Presidents Day shopping. I dropped off Ryree and Madre at the Haystack. Just as they were getting into their house, I remembered something, rolled down the window and yelled out: "Hey Mom! You still owe me $60!!" She looks at me, smiles, and says "I love you share-bare!" then slams her front door shut. Ummm....so wrong. As if! What now? What happened to love not costing a thing? Apparently now, for me at least, an 'I Love You' is currently priced at $60.00. Take it or leave it! She's so mean, right? No wonder I'm so f**ked up in the head. Ugh!!

No Chick Flick Cliques Here

Last Friday, I watched an incredible chick flick that was full of realness. The movie is called He's Just Not That Into You. Confession: I never finished the $20 hardcover book which this movie is based on. Oops! Oh well. Finally a movie that both a man and woman can relate to! There really should be more movies like this. It gives girls a slap in the face to wake them from their dreams of ever thinking they will ever be involved in some kind of a fairytale love story. Yup....so wake up bitches and welcome to wonderful world of reality. Deal with it! Oh and also, I would also like to point something out to a few women out there. It has nothing to do with the movie I just watched though. It's more in the lines of relationships I have witnessed throughout the years. In defense of all the hard working men out with their desperate attempts at trying to please their women, I'm here to tell you some of you females - just stop. Please stop expecting so much. One especially, stop thinking of all that materialistic and expensive crap you receive from your significant other and refer it as gifts from the heart. We are all aware that a $3,000 Louis Vuitton bag is not something that comes from the heart. It's more like his paycheck. If you are a lady that falls into this category and think you have it all, think again. Eventually, paychecks will start to disappear due to the bad economy and you'll be left alone with nothing but your 100% hand made genuine monogrammed leather tote to keep you company during the cold, lonely, sleepless nights. You can call me hater. You can call me cynical bitch. At the end of the day, I'd actually prefer a warm loving body to keep me company and warm through the nights. Wouldn't you agree?

And Your Point Is?

Let me get this straight. I don't like Valentine's day because I'm a bitter single individual. I don't like Valentine's day because I still have not yet found my true love. I don't like Valentine's day because the ugly colors red and pink are advertised everywhere. I don't like Valentine's day because the local florist delivery trucks are filled with a bunch of long stem roses or floral arrangements. I hate Valentines day because it's a constant reminder that single people are less important than those in a committed relationship. I hate Valentines Day because I feel the pressure of finding my true love rather than just letting my path take me there on it's own. I hate Valentine's day because they advertise the incorrect shape of the human heart. I hate Valentines day because UPS and FedEx trucks should be filled with edible gifts like chocolate rather than killing nature for use of temporary display before it's welted away and tossed in the garbage can. What's the point of it all? Why not celebrate love for one another on a different day? Why not show and express your love on a daily basis. There's no need to spend money. Better yet. Celebrate your love on a day like....umm...DUH! Your anniversary?! With how things are going, we might as well call Valentines Day something more materialistic. Hmm... 'Flower Shop's Day' or ' Dinner for Two Day' or 'Hallmark Day'. What do you think?

Breath. Stretch. Shake.

Stretching is good for our bodies but sometimes it can be a bit disrupting, especially at the work place. Grrr needs to stop. Don't do it at work, please. He does this every day and apparently he could care less about people watching him. Maybe he's out to seek some attention? He goes all out from lunges to bending over and reaching to his toes and he holds them stretches for long periods of time. It's hysterical when I witness it because I'm always caught off guard. I'm just walking down the halls and bam! "WTF are you doing!?" Is he practicing the bend and snap move from the movie, Legally Blonde? Jason thinks he's trying to pop, lock and drop it. In any case, I'm thinking he needs to do his stretch moves in an enclosed place where no one can see! Maybe I should bring this matter directly to Human Resources. "Hi, I would like to file a complaint..." Some accountants are straight weird....NOT me though...ha-ha!

The Ten Best Days of My Life

A couple weeks ago, I finished reading a novel. It's a huge accomplishment because it was my FIRST read ever - The Ten Best Days of My Life written by Adena Halpern. It all started exactly a week prior to finishing this book. (Yeah, I'm a slow reader...) I was in Barnes & Nobles with my son looking for the Diary of a Wimpy Kid. At the time, I was having a bad week. I was unhappy with the past decisions I've made. I was questioning my parenting skills. Not only that, but the day of my dad's death anniversary was nearing. It was just not good. I usually get by these sucky times real quick. It's just like weathering through a bad rain storm. Soon enough, I'll see the California sun beaming through the gray clouds. Typically, when I'm in this sort of mood, my mind goes into 'daydream' overdrive. During my visit at Barnes & Nobles, I led myself day dreaming my way upstairs to the Non-Fiction books section. It was overwhelming. This section was huge! For those who don't know me, here's one important fact - I HATE reading BOOKS. So there I was, browsing through a bunch of books. I needed to find something that would help me focus and steer me away from all this day dreaming. Houston, we have a problem - How the hell does one find that 'one' book? There's so many to pick and choose from! I was lost. I didn't know where to begin. I tried BBMing my sister for recommendations, but that didn't help. Mainly because we have different preferences. I finally narrowed my search to the the ones that were front cover faced on the bookshelves. Yeah, yeah...I'm a dork. Yeah, I'm lazy but I LOVE convenience. For me that says alot. The book title and the wonderful front cover illustration stands out. In my case, I was looking for something cheerful. The nice blue skies of Adena Halpern's book said hello to me. I picked it up. Read the back cover and fell in love. It was like this book was intended only for me. It was the only copy and was less than 300 pages. Done. My mission was accomplished just like that! After reading this book. I felt happy. I was happy that I actually finished something I've started. (FYI- was born into this world as a true procrasinator.) I was happy that I enjoyed reading the book. More so, I was happy to realize that there is so much more to do in life. There are so many things life has to offer for me. It's just really weird. The book contained of alot of small but very meaningful pleasures. It made me appreciate everything around me. It really makes you think. I'm sure if you were to read this, you'd understand the value of one's life and how different circumstances make the person that you are today. It's a trip. You start to think about all the stuff that matters from a young woman's point of view. If I can relate, I'm sure many others will know what I'm talking about. I highly recommend it. It will make you laugh hysterically and also shed a tear. I guarantee you will really look at alot of things from a brand new perspective.

FirstWink

A friend of mine just launched a FREE online dating site for people of the Bay Area called, FirstWink.com Yup yup! The Bay Area, I said. Represent....Haaay! Curious little me wanted to see what it was all about so I signed up. I registered as a member about five days ago. I got my first wink today and issued my first wink today, as well. I had to. Once I saw, my immediate reaction was "OMG! I think I know this guy. He looks so darn familiar." After much thought, I figured it out why I was so intrigued by his looks. Do you want to know why? Promise not to laugh, OK? Awe man, who the hell am I kidding. Go ahead and laugh. OK. Here it goes. I'm so attracted to his photo because he looks exactly like Peter DeLuise! Who the hell is Peter DeLuise, you ask? Why he was only the hottest dude of 21 Jump Street besides Johnny Depp! It was an 80's TV Series. He played character, Doug Penhall. Yeah, I have the weird taste but (to me) he was so hot back in the day. [sigh] Anyway, wish me luck. Hopefully he'll wink back. Better yet, hopefully he'll send me a message asking me to go on a date with him. It would be such a great honor to go on a date with a Peter DeLuise look-a-like. It's like the next best thing! Dating my childhood crush (obviously, one of many) would be a dream come true for me! I have high hopes for FirstWink. Check for yourself if your curious. Give it try! Remember, it's 100% FREE!

BUILDER/explorer

Relationship expert, Dr. Helen Fisher created this very lengthy test for Chemistry.com. The Love Test is what they like to call it. Not only does it determine your dominant personality type, but it also tells you what type of personality you are most compatible with. I took this test about a year ago during my initial match.com days. Here are the results. It's pretty accurate, I think. But, I still often question - Don't opposites attract?

Major Personality Type: BUILDER - Usually very popular. Deep attachment to home and family. Calm demeanor and low anxiety. Often consistent, loyal and protective. Minor Personality Type: explorer - Known for high energy, high creativity and spontaneity. Seeks novelty, risk and pleasure. Intellectually curious and not easily swayed by opinion. BUILDER/explorer: You are popular, trustworthy and dependable. People like you for many reasons; but among them you tend to be stable, loyal and caring and you have a wonderful knack for common sense. You are a guardian. Your relationships with friends, kin and colleagues are important to you. So you spend time and energy developing and defending these social networks. You are a good executive and manager. People almost instinctively feel you can supervise financial, business and social issues effectively. And because you are sensible and factual, you can. You work hard. You like schedules. You are detail oriented. And you tend to respect traditions. So you bring strength and stability to your social and business environments. Yet you admire people who are spontaneous and you enjoy new and different ideas and experiences, as long as they are not dangerous. Respectability and appropriateness are important to you. And you are capable of deep, solid friendships. What I'm NOT (Least Compatible): Negotiator - Excels at seeing the big picture, long-term planning and consensus building. An intuitive thinker who is flexible, verbal and socially skilled. Imaginative, empathetic and nurturing. Director - Daring, original, direct and inventive. A non-conformist. Skilled at abstract thinking and short-term planning. Often assertive and quite competitive. Tough-minded and efficient.

Are you curious to know what type of personality you have? Take the Love Test for yourself: http://www.chemistry.com/whyhimwhyher/?trackingid=2000126&bannerid=2014053 Also, here's an interesting fact. Did you know that testosterone builds the length of the ring finger while your in your mother's womb? Do you have a high testosterone level? Look at your right hand and compare with your pointing finger and find out. If it's longer than your pointing finger then the answer is yes! In addition to that, the longer your ring finger (in relation to your pointing finger) the more you are likely to have mathematical, mechanical and/or musical skills. You learn something new every day...

Tabo is NOT Allowed

A couple days ago, I came across an interesting article (for me at least due to my ethnic background) from my favorite country, Australia. I guess that's beside the point. Just read up to find out. Should the use of a tabo at the workplace be prohibited? Are we now required to re-establish our sanitary customs if its not commonly used by others? Or should we continue to preserve an old custom from our country of origin? What do you think?? In this case, we are talking about old-school bathroom habits derived from my ancestors of the Philippines: (FYI - Just because I posted this, does not necessarily mean that I practice this traditional custom, OK?) http://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/article/2009/01/24/34915_hpnews.html

"Bless You"...

...is all that I ask of you after I sneeze. Did you know your heart stops when you sneeze? I'm beginning to think my neighboring colleagues dislike me because they don't say, "Bless you". It's pretty ironic because, just the other week when Cute Auditor Dude was here, my neighbor said, "Bless you" to him. She even admitted to me that's it just the polite thing to do. Well if that's the case, neighbor (aka Nei-nei), why does that NOT apply to my sneezes? You say it to Grrr all the time. I know because I can hear you. And well...I'm sure you are well aware of what a sneeze from share-bare sounds like. For the record, I sneeze pretty darn loud. Plus, I sit closer to you than Cute Auditor Dude. We share cubicle partitions for goodness sake. Hmmm...do I smell a little bit of hateration in the work place? [sigh] I'm experiencing the utmost sadness right now. =( ........OK - I'm done. Optimism time! Without further ado, I would like to take the opportunity to thank well-mannered Jason for screaming over a "Bless you" to me while literally being 3 cubicles away from me. Thanks for having my back, buddy! As for you, Nei-nei, I will continue to give you the benefit of a doubt until my toleration expires. I will monitor the frequency of my sneeze throughout the work week. Maybe just maybe I'm not that loud enough for you. No need to hesitate, Nei-nei. I will hike up my volume to the maximum. Maybe, just maybe you will notice me and say, "Bless you".

4th Has More Worth

People can judge. People can gossip. People can say whatever the f**k they want to at this point. I remember when nothing mattered most about my actions other than what I felt. And so this time around, I'm going to do it the right way like the good old days. What happened to me?! Whatever happened to not caring what other people think? You see, people come in and out of your life for a reason. Reasons you may not know right away but there's always some meaning behind it and eventually you'll figure "It" out and will be like, "OMG Duh!" And you see...I finally get it. I get "It". Typical sharebare move. I'm slow at alot of things but I never would have thought I'd be slow at getting the simple lessons in life. Shoot, I've learned that not only do we learn from our mistakes but we also learn from the mistakes we never thought were mistakes to begin with. Crazy, right? I didn't realize "It" until the same thing happened over and over and over again. Aaah, the joys of constant repetition. Gotta love "It". I'm grateful for "It" !The most ironic thing about "It" is you gain sense through advice given by absolute strangers and simple acquaintenances. I wonder why that is? Is it because thinking from the outside in is better than thinking of it inside out? Perhaps it's because these people don't know me well enough to judge. That's got to be it, I think. So, you see... I came to the realization that if the heart is still there, there is such a thing as second, third, and even fourth chances. Just like me, people make so many mistakes and can repeat them over and over and over again once they wise up and get "It". As long as the heart is still in it, that's all that counts. And so, maybe for me, the fourth has more worth. "It" has more value and "It" has more appreciation for it's value... Have you got "It" yet?