4th Has More Worth

People can judge. People can gossip. People can say whatever the f**k they want to at this point. I remember when nothing mattered most about my actions other than what I felt. And so this time around, I'm going to do it the right way like the good old days. What happened to me?! Whatever happened to not caring what other people think? You see, people come in and out of your life for a reason. Reasons you may not know right away but there's always some meaning behind it and eventually you'll figure "It" out and will be like, "OMG Duh!" And you see...I finally get it. I get "It". Typical sharebare move. I'm slow at alot of things but I never would have thought I'd be slow at getting the simple lessons in life. Shoot, I've learned that not only do we learn from our mistakes but we also learn from the mistakes we never thought were mistakes to begin with. Crazy, right? I didn't realize "It" until the same thing happened over and over and over again. Aaah, the joys of constant repetition. Gotta love "It". I'm grateful for "It" !The most ironic thing about "It" is you gain sense through advice given by absolute strangers and simple acquaintenances. I wonder why that is? Is it because thinking from the outside in is better than thinking of it inside out? Perhaps it's because these people don't know me well enough to judge. That's got to be it, I think. So, you see... I came to the realization that if the heart is still there, there is such a thing as second, third, and even fourth chances. Just like me, people make so many mistakes and can repeat them over and over and over again once they wise up and get "It". As long as the heart is still in it, that's all that counts. And so, maybe for me, the fourth has more worth. "It" has more value and "It" has more appreciation for it's value... Have you got "It" yet?

"The Plane! The Plane"

If you were a child of the 80's then I think you know who I'm referring to. He was the first that came to mind for some reason. I guess it's because Ryree wants to get a tattoo this Saturday. She's all, "Get one with me!" And, well, being the impulsive person that I am, I probably might just do it. Having something marked on me permanently doesn't really phase me. Shoot...I already have three. What's one more? I think my primary concern though is giving my hard earned money away. I mean its probably a better investment since tattoos don't wear away as fast as a nice pair of Nike Equalon running shoes. Hmmm....I think Quicken took a toll on me. A good toll that is. I'm starting to be a tad bit more practical. That one resolution, I've been keeping so far. "Woohoo!" (Awe, I don't see that WAMU slogan anymore!) I guess we'll find out if I go through with it. I don't even know what I'd get. Maybe I'll get one exactly like Phoebe from Friends. You know...the one she went to get with Rachael!

Fine Print

Lesson of the Day or Life (whatever fits your mood): Read the fine print on your own (rather than relying on others) VERY SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY before making any assumptions or bad judgements. It saves you a whole lot of time, trouble, and pain along the way. I thank reegsta for shining a bit of positive light on me. I actually figured it out on my own but I wouldn't have if I didn't bring up the subject matter with him. Thanks dude!

The Unknown is So Much Better!

I hate to break it to ya'll but this will my my series finale of the Cute Auditor Dude. Previously on Cute Auditor Dude:

Cute Auditor Dude: Episode 3

Yesterday, my life was ruined. Just kidding. More like my man crush is officially dunzo. I find out not only his name (Brian, by the way) but he has a girlfriend or as my friend Lana would say, BSkank. Then later, I was told that he's not just dating exclusively with a BSkank but also engaged to the little cunt. Ha-ha! I'm saying this in a not so serious way, ok? I like saying bad words. It makes it more fun to type and it gives a spicy kick to my blah-g. Anyway, so you think I'm trippin'? You think I'm hurt? Nah....for me it's just a matter of finding new eye candy at the work place. Unfortunately, I resort to the ever so lovely young auditors. We at the Accounting Department don't get that many visitors.   Kind of living a sheltered business life.  We at the 10th floor are basically stuck with each other whether we like it or not. I'm grateful to have a handful of co-workers that I enjoy spending 40 hours a week with. Crazy, right? And the end of the day, Cute Auditor Dude is no longer my cute auditor dude. He was better left a mystery...Now it's not much of a big deal to me. My infatuation for him died and I'm over it just like that. Such a let down, right? I was really looking forward with continuing this series with you all. Too bad, the unknown was let loose. Sorry people. Cute Auditor Dude, may you rest in peace. If I were able to turn back time, I would prefer the unknown. It works so much better for me. No disappointments or drama. We will forever miss your hotness as eye candy of course.

I'm Getting Out of the Kitchen

If you can't stand the heat...then get out of the kitchen. That's exactly what I did. I thought I was the queen of sarcasm and practical jokes when it came to some Jersey boys. One in particular...yeah right!!

It all started out with the rivalry game between the Philadelphia Eagles and New York Giants (yeah, yeah, I know....get over it....just shush for a second!). I was thrilled that my team won. So, what do you think I did to celebrate? Yup. I rubbed it back in peoples' faces especially to two dudes I know from New Jersey that are really really HUGE fans. Anyway, one of them, refers himself as BooBear. I myself, refuse to call him that, but to protect his identity, we'll refer him to that for now. Long story short...at the end of all the trash talk via IM, I felt bad. He seemed really sad and hurt for his team. So, as a peace offering and my way of saying sorry I came up with an idea. I purchased him a gift - a cookie basket specially made for a Giants fan. I thought it was a perfect! My original intention was to still be embarass him not cupcake him w/my undying love and affection. Please! It's me we're talking about. I wanted it to be big and flashy in hoping he'd get teased by his co-workers. I even put a condolence note for his loss - get it?

Ain't it cute? So a few days after I ordered it online, it was delivered via FedEx. (By the way, can I tell you how much I love FedEx? Their tracking system is awesome!) I was hoping for a reaction....nada. UGH!! I didn't get one until like two days later. By that time, I was totally over it. Brightside of it - he liked it and thought it was very nice and sweet of me. I even got brownie points for it! I have no idea where these points would be redeemable at but I guess it's his thought of giving me 'brownie points' was all that mattered. How about giving me a box full of brownies, instead, BooBear? Fairy Tale Brownies are the bomb diggity!! HINT HINT! So here's comes the bad part. Anyway, this couple weeks of whole messing around finally drew the line with me. Like I started to realize his sensor of humor was too much for me. I began to question if he was actually being serious when he would put me down. His sarcasm was unbelievable! It was over. I was sick and tired with dealing with his mood swings. He'll be nice one minute and the next minute, he'll be hurtfully mean to me. One day, we'll chat and then the next, he'd never even reply to a simple question. WTF, right? Not once did he ever apologize for his obnoxious behavior. Even when I was in a realtalk or nice mood, he'd just fire back with his harshness. It's like WOW! Someone is really bitter right now. But, no...apparently, he's like that all the time. I'm sorry, I guess you are just way too good to be my friend. He was totally pushing my buttons and yesterday....I gave up. So as my punishment for him, I decided to post a warning to all chicks picture! DO NOT trust this dude with your life. His smile is deceiving. He is up to no good! Boo Bear - you are officially my first to be put on share-bare's Blah-g of Shame! [I'm sticking out my tongue to you!] =P Take that!

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[Couple hours later of this post, I removed his picture.

That's too mean and I'm not - I'm NICE DAMNIT!]

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I refuse to be used as a door mat and stepped on. I don't like mean people and that's final.

Tagalog 101

Yesterday, Ryree and I were BBMing each other. It was a typical Saturday morning. We both woke up and were deciding on what the plan was for the day since it was our dad's 6th year anniversary of his passing. Anyway, out of no where she busts out some tagalog on me. I of course had to battle with her since neither of us can speak it fluently. Here's our wannabe tagalog conversation via BBM:

share-bare: hola (<---- this is NOT tagalog by the way. It's Spanish) Ryree: ano share-bare: aba! Ryree: anong pananang mo? share-bare: ang pananang ko ay shalul. sabi ni ate irene - pamuntan kami sa cemetario. ali una? Ryree: o sige. anong horas? share-bare: sabe ala uno! nansan si nanay? pamunta si nanay with tayo? sabe ni ate irene -tayo mag kainkain. [ryree sends me a pic of our mom. she is wearing a brand new dress she will be wearing to a wedding in 2 months] Ryree: ito ang damit ni nanay na susuot sa kasal ni rex. maganda? share-bare: naks naman! maganda ang bihis ni nanay ryree: o sige...kasama si sa cemetario share-bare: o sige. bihis na kayo. ma baho ang buhok mo! ryree: sino sabe? caitlin?! share-bare: ako. diba napaka maganda ako? ryree: hindi. pankit na pankit. share-bare: sayang walang ako nobio. sakit any damdamin. pankit? deba pangit? ryree: haha share-bare: ay nako. akong pakod na. ryree: walang ka nobio kasi ang ilong mo ay maliki share-bare: LOL! selos ka? ok lang. ryree: tulog ako sa inyo. share-bare: bakit?! ryree: gusto ko... share-bare: galit ka ba? ryree: linisan mo ang kama ko share-bare: ano sabe mo? ryree: galit? hindi naman. kama ko! linisan mo. share-bare: anong linisan? ryree: lanisan? share-bare: ano?! ryree: clean! LOL! share-bare: o o na

Aren't we horrible! I think we'll stick to English for now!

Resolution #1

Scratched! I broke it yesterday. Oh well. I drank two cups of coffee in one day. It was freezing and tea was just not cutting it for me. I had my second cup of coffee well after 2:00 PM. I'm having my third cup of coffee as I'm typing right now. And I'll probably do a repeat of yesterday by having my late afternoon coffee session. Maybe this whole resolution thing should be about how long it takes for me to break. The last resolution left is the one I should stick with until the end of the year - at least.

The 2nd Letter of the Alphabet

Let's back track a bit shall we? On October 15th of last year, I joined match.com for the second time around in hope of finding a cool dude. First time was more of a social experiment. It was all just for fun and curiosity. I was able to experience how it felt to be on a disaster date numerous times. (For example, I met a dude at a bar on Polk Street. He yelled at me when the bar dude took his unfinished drink away while he was in the bathroom. His drink looked done to me and in my defense, he didn't tell me!) Anyway, I was convinced after watching "The Secret" to give it another try. So here was my basic profile:

About Me: I don't really ask for much, but maybe it's time for me to deserve something good in life and if that happens to be a good genuine man, then I'm all for it! Friendship is everything. In every relationship, that's the starting point. Though, it's really tough finding true friends.What I'm looking for - - -Everyone has their way of finding their perfect match. For me, I'm just looking for someone that makes you feel comfortable right from the get go. From all night conversations to saying nothing while lying on the couch together. Someone that doesn't care much about appearance or materialistic things. It's all about great company. Just a little about me: I'm usually quiet and reserved in the beginning, but once I get comfortable I get more interesting. I would say my personality separates me from the rest. I'm not a girlie girl nor a tomboy. I'm a free spirited messy klutz who cusses like there's no end (hope you don't mind). I'm also a simple, easygoing, gullible person who can be sarcastic at times.There are times where I can be shockingly intelligent and other times I act like a stoner (i said act like NOT am). One minute I'll be goofy with a wacky ass imagination. Now who doesn't like variety? I live a non-extravagant life and I enjoy the simplest things. I'm a bit of a oddball always full of curiosity. I hate being old-fashioned and conventional. I'm a horrible liar so don't worry about trust when it comes to me.

The following day, to my surprise, I get an instant message from a dude I like to call, letter B. About three weeks later, we had our first date. It was really kick it. I immediately felt comfortable around him. Not physically comfortable, but more like the feeling that I've known him longer than the actual 3 hours we spent at BJ's. His presence and company made me feel at ease. Totally the opposite feeling any normal person would feel on a first semi-blind date. Initial meetings are usually awkward. Not in this case.

Before my first meeting with letter B, I was sitting in my car in the parking lot. He was running a bit late, which is one of my pet peeves especially when it cuts time away from eating. No one likes to see me food deprived. Anyway, I decided to let this one pass since it was a rainy day. Last thing I'd want to hear is him getting into an accident due to rushing. I remember I was on the phone with my girlfriend, Twinks. She was totally coaching me on what to say, how to act, etc. as if I've never been out with a dude. She was all, "If he compliments you, just smile and say thank you." Apparently, I have a habit of crushing the male ego. Me? Never! Muahahahaha! Nah - but on a serious note...I guess it's partly true. Now we are back to the present (a couple months later). I have not yet found anything wrong with letter B. Is this a good sign? Give me another couple months and I'll let you know. OK, OK - jokes aside. letter B is a cool dude. We seem to click so far. He seems really genuine and patient. He understands my situation and apparently, it's fine with him. All and all, I'm having a good time and right now that's all that matters.

Resolution?

As far as I know, I have none that are like super extraordinary:

1. Limit my coffee intake to once a week
2. Run at least 7 miles each week
3. Utilize my bedroom sofa chair and ottoman for my buttox not my clothes.
4. Eat at least 1 fruit every day
5. Reconcile my Quicken account every week

Shouldn't be hard, I suppose.

Final Word for 2008

Jerry Springer always ends every one of his shows with a final word. He makes a small speech that sums up the entire moral of the show. Regardless of the ghetto topic it is, it's usually the serious part where people are to learn something very valuable. As for me, I'm going to put it short. No speech is necessary. Here are my final words for 2008, plain and simple.

"No Regrets"

Post Biggest Loser Depression

This always happens. Immediately after every season finale of this tv reality series, I get so freakin depressed. How the hell do they do it!? There are tons of people on this show weighing at least 300 lbs! Yes - AT LEAST! And then during the finale, there just one chick that weighs less than my ass. They literally lose like half their body weight. It's freakin incredible! I look at them and I'm like.........I look fatter than her??? No way! But yes way! Talk about reality check. UGH! So what am I doing this morning? Drenching myself in sorrow and misery. And umm... oh, just looking for training programs so I can physically become a Biggest Loser, too! So typical of me. I always torture myself. I am my own worse critic. I'm always hard on myself because I know I deserve it. I even went to my account on active.com to see my results from the 2007 Nike Women Half Marathon. I just had to rub it in my face.... [sigh].... "I can do it... I know I can....I know I can...." (let's keep that mentality, share-bare)

Va-Jay-Jay

I don't know but all of a sudden I am straight up on Oprah Winfrey's jock. A couple months ago (I think) I DVR'd one of her specials about sex. Keep in mind that it's been years since I've seen an Oprah Winfrey show. I guess I don't call in sick that often from work. Don't worry people. This is not rated X. But the following will be only for mature audience. Anyway, I found out some very interesting facts that I would like to share with you. Let's get our sex education on, shall we?

• One important slang word used thanks to Oprah herself has been misused by ALOT of people including me. The slang term 'va-jay-jay' (which means vagina) does not necessarily refer to a woman's genitals. As a matter of fact, according to Dr. Laura Berman the correct term that should be used is vulva. The word vagina is not really visible to the human eye because it's an internal canal. Vulva refers to the entire external region. Now that we learned the proper term, I ask that going forward to start using the correct term. (i.e. Men have penises and women have vulvas) I suppose we might as well create an urban dictionary slang term for it, don't you think? How about vu-vee-vee? If you are totally confused, I suggest you take a look at the female anatomy - just google it or something.
• 1 in 5 couples are in sexless marriages. WTF?! I best not fall into that stastistic when I get hitched!
• Frequent sexual activity makes you look 7-12 years younger. Another known fact about having it a lot is that is reduces your chance of heart disease. It also relieves stress & insomnia, strengthens your immune system, and acts as a natural pain reliever (<----I already knew that part). Rock on.
• There are actually women in this world that lose interest in sex. Insane, right? This condition is called perimenopausal. Basically, its a drop of estrogen and testerone level in a female's body. It can affect women in their late 30s and 40s. So men, if you are in a relationship where she does not respond to sex get her help. This condition is serious but curable. Men - lets say this together: Libido is highly recommended for a successful relationship. If a women is suffering from chronic stress, that means their libido will drop so remember - again...libido is highly recommended for a successful relationship. So, don't stress her out or you'll be the one that's out of luck!
• There are 3 types of female orgasms (Guys, you jealous?):

1. Clitoral: The most common and easiest to achieve
2. Vaginal: More intense achieved through stimulation to the G-spot
3. Blended: Combination of clitoral and vaginal. Most pleasurable. Per Dr. Berman, it is a "Holy Grail"

• As women age or have babies, their pelvic floor muscles which contract during sexual intercourse get lose. To strengthen these muscles, women should practice core muscle and kegel exercises.

Some of you might be a little bit uncomfortable after reading this. Oh well. Get over it. This is stuff people should know about the female body. It's freakin normal. I hope you thought it was somewhat informative. Just trying to spread the word. and if you already knew everything I just stated above then wow! I applaud you! Kudos!

I'm Just Like Oprah

Just like Oprah Winfrey, I have "fallen off the wagon" of healthy living and gained backed all the weight I lost. You remember the weight I lost back in March? Yup, all done-zo. I'm back to the drawing board. I'm starting from scratch once gain. It's very embarrassing and just like Oprah, I'm mad at myself. I was so damn committed at the beginning of the year. I took boot camp classes in San Francisco. I ran at least twice a week. I even ate more than twice a day to keep my metabolism going. I don't know how I let this happen. Was it my busy schedule? Or was I just too damn lazy? Who knows. The face is no excuses can make the situation better. That's the reality of it all. It is what it is. I've neglected taking good care of myself.

IHEARTBRIT

I want to go to Target so bad right now and get Britney's CD, Circus. I was up at until midnight listening to snippets of her new album on iTunes. As I was browsing the iTunes store, I saw a clickable button named, "Tour Dates". OMG - Britney is going on tour!? Yes she is everybody. That's right biatches! I knew at midnight because I'm special like that. But they officially announced Britney's 2009 tour: The Circus Starring Britney Spears (with special guests The Pussycat Dolls)in today's episode of Good Morning America. I can't wait to watch it later (I DVR'd it, of course). Anyway, internet presale tickets are on sale NOW! If you're smart enough, you'll so the EXCLUSIVE presale password (ahemm - look at the top!) $150 for general admission tickets. Crazy right? I know. Who cares. I love her! Soul Sister - I guess I'll see you in April 2009! Muah!

My Celebrity Soul Sister

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIT! Britney Spears is my celebrity soul sister. Can't you see the resemblance from below? Her and I share the same birthday! I'm so honored. You jelly? LOL! Yeah, I'm a dork, I know! =P Anyway, here are other celebrities that I share my birthday with: - Lucy Liu - Nelly Furtado I can't believe Nelly Furtado and I are the same age. Pretty cool if I say so myself.

Twenty-Nine Will Do Just Fine

I don't mind turning 30. I just don't think I'm ready yet. Is there anyway I can delay it? Kind of like the movie, Groundhog Day. This past week, it's really hit me. I got the blues. I didn't bother to go shopping during the most busiest shopping day of the year. I didn't even bother to get my haircut. I can't believe this is my last day of being in my twenties. The twenties were a very exciting and life changing decade for me. By the time I was 20, I already had a 3 month old baby. When I was 21 I was single from my baby daddy. When I was 22, I was basically in my experimental phase that I missed out on during my late teen years. When I turned 23, I was basically in love with my best friend turned boyfriend. During that time, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. At 24, God took my father away from me. I miss him so. At 26, I purchased a condo with my ex. That same year we split forever. At 27, we sold the condo and I moved back with my mom and step-dad. At 29, I'm finally back on my own (sort of). I did alot of stuff that I couldn't even would imagined this year thanks to my Tabo List! I'm so glad I was able to document it all out on my blog. Most of it at least. I consider it to be as a memorabilia. Kind of like a cyber scrapbook. Quite neat if I do say so myself! Alot of drama went down in my twenties. I only hope life will get better from here on. It's just a bitter sweet moment right now. Time to absorb it all in for the last time and simply let it go...[sigh] Good-bye to you soon #29. You will be missed dearly.

Keyword Search

Just recently, I decided to keep track of my blog hits and sources. Do you wanna guess what keyword searches prompt browsers to my blog? Here are my top 2 keyword phrases:

• Turtle Frenzy
• Tabo Porn

WTF. Top keyword phrase searches just had to be sex related, right? Yikes! Regardless, I would like to express my gratitude to my keyword search visitors who initiated this especially the ones from North Brunswick, NJ; Memphis, TN; and Ridgewood, NY. Also, I would like to give recognition to my most recent international visitors such as the ones from Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada; Athens, Attiki, Greece; and yes - Dubai! I'm terribly sorry you weren't able to find what you were looking for but thanks soooo much for stopping by. Hopefully, you were able to satisfy your weird and disturbing desires by now.

Son Highly Preferred

Funny as it may seem...I so don't know how to take care of little girls. Well it's not like I don't know how. I just forgot how much more work there is tending to a toddler/preschooler. This morning my sister left her 2 girls with me. EJ has no school today so it was an opportunity for my nieces to sleep in today. Imagine having to wake up at 5am in the morning. Insane! Especially for a 3 and 4 year old girl. Anyway, I cracked myself up. Tates woke up with no problem. I was getting ready for work. EJ was in the shower. I told Tates to go brush her teeth. She quietly got her little footstool. Stepped onto it. Picked up her toothbrush and was able to squeeze toothpaste neatly onto the bristles. I was pretty amazed. She was far neater than me! She stood there for like a full minute just looking at her toothbrush. . Like, why is she waiting, I thought. Dumb me assumed she knew how to brush her teeth. But, it was pretty obvious that she didn't because she would glance at me numerous times while I was fixing my hair. I witnessed her as she picked up her toothbrush and attempted to insert it in her mouth via gag-style. I quickly took it away from her and ended up brushing her teeth for her. HAHA! Gag-style... I said. You should've seen it. Hysterical but scary at the same time. Janelle on the other hand was super independent girl. She brushed her teeth and washed her face. Dressed herself and assisted her younger sister with putting on her jacket. I was like cool. I instructed the girls to wait patiently in the living room while EJ and I finish up. Janelle started wandering in her mom's bathroom. I gave her a hard time for not listening to me. Then she reminded me of something. "Tita Share. What about my hair? My mommy always fixes me and Caitlin's hair." "Oh yeah!", I laughed to myself. "Combing your hair would be a good idea..." LOL! Talk about no parental skills whatsoever and hello! I have a son! "I am sooo not allowed to have daughters, Janelle. I'm sorry". "It's OK, Tita Share...".Janelle goes through the drawers and finds matching clips for both her and her sister. "Mine is the yellow and Caitlin's is the green ones". I clipped Janelle's long locks to the side like how I would do it if it was my hair. As for Tates, I did a horrific job. Her hair was too short and slippery. I tried to part it and put one clip on the right and another on the left. It looked hideous! Then I got frustrated and pulled it back into a loose, crooked ponytail. Not to mention hella bumpiness. After 4 attempts of trying to make it look all smooth, I just went with it. It'll get messy once she starts playing anyways. LOL! So there, so much for trying to get girls ready. Sons are so much better. No need to comb their hair. No need for fancy clips and hair ties. You're probably thinking - well you're a chick! How hard could it possibly be? Think hard. If you know me, you know I have no skills with dolling myself up. I'm practically 75% dude living with a female anatomy. All I can say - thank goodness I didn't end up with a daughter 10 years ago. Whew!

30 Until 30

Oh my gracious! The big 3-0 is quickly approaching. In 30 days to be exact! YIKES! I'm not really depressed as I thought I would be. The whole new decade is just getting me to think a lot now. One of the things that I've been trying to stress about is probably going to crack you up. Do you really want to know? OK, fine. I told myself that I need to start dressing my age and start looking like I have a 10 year old son. I need to start wearing make-up to work every day, too! I need to look like I care about how I look even though I don't. I guess I just need to look presentable, yeah? Oh well. Something along that line. I need to stop buying stupid graphic tees like my Captain Planet and Transformers vintage shirt. Like seriously - is that something a 30 year old single mother would wear? I also need to stop wearing Victoria's Secret "PINK" sweats because I'm not a teenager and I'm not trying to be. Realizing that females that are half my age wear the same type of lounge/pajama wear freak me out! Basically, I have to stop looking all sloth. Other goals for my third decade of being alive:

• Stop Looking for The One. Per my sister, it will come when the time is right
• Find a new face & bikini waxer. I've been literally burned three times in the face!
• Invest in skirts and dresses for work. Thanks Lipstick Jungle for the fashion tips!
• Stop buying/reading Shape & Self magazines on how to lose weight. Instead, just do it!
• Start taking action rather than whining like a baby.

Blank

It's so odd. I usually have so much to write about. I have nothing. I'm not sure if I'm denial because I'm no longer on vacation. Like my mind is in vacation mode, but my body... my body is telling me NOOOO! Ew, I so hate R. Kelly. Come to think of it - that may be the case. I miss Hawaii. Actually, scratch that. I just miss having time off period. I apologize readers for my sudden blog fart. Definition: The inability to blog at the present time. Hopefully, my fingers can start working on typing again. Until then, thanks for stopping by!